Empty

The meet failed. Everyone else kept talking about how they had trouble keeping the secret from their friends. But my problem is the slowly encroaching insanity of loneliness. The human genome has been twisted by natural selection. The lonely perish. Socialize or die.

Headaches

I walked down the street today. When most people say that, they mean they walked down the sidewalk. I walked down the center of the street, just for the fun of it. A cab brushes by on the left, a bus on the right. There's enough space between them. The only trouble is to keep them from seeing you. Once people see you, you're in trouble. So I can only hold it for about 5 minutes. There's a lot of people here.
Anyway, I've got to go. I've decided I need a social life, and I have contacted some of the... others. Going to meet them tonight. I hope it goes well.

Reciting poetry helps me relax:

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
J.R.R. Tolkien

Lassez-faire

I think I'm losing it. I can't keep this up much longer. Too much is happening all around me. Someone is always hurting. Someone always needs help. I can't be active 24 hours a day. I can't do this.

I feel like a failure every second that someone is hurting that I could be helping. Why do I waste the time to write this blog, to go out for coffee, even to sleep in? Why do I have to be so... human? One might say, "I can sleep when I'm dead." but this just isn't possible.

Mayhaps I need a vacation? I've been wanting to see the Callanish Stones, in Scotland... The change of air might do me good. Just... let things be as they will here for just one week. Can I do that? Or will I lose whatever humanity I have worked so hard to lay claim to?

Susan

Life

Today has been a good day. I am sitting in a coffee shop, cozy, caffeinated, and content. Only downside: I've hurt my arm. My left arm, if you really cared to know.

When was the last time you felt really, truly happy? When you looked around and simply thought, "This is where I want to be for the rest of my life. This is what I want to feel for the rest of my life."? When you knew without a doubt who you were, what your place was in the world, and that if your whole life were exactly like this day, you could die with a smile on your face?

Most people don't have a clue what it really means to live.

Susan

Scraping gum off the sidewalk.

Dear Reader,

Wherever there are people, good sir, there is dirt. That's what comes with being organic. Organic waste, everywhere. Skin cells, dung, and toxic exhalations. Not to mention the unnecessary yet unavoidable waste. Garbage, gum, and graffiti. And the cigarette butts, my dear reader! You know, they used to pour their excrements out the window as well. It would flow down the streets in specially dug ditches. An absolutely tragic thing to step into.

Such is the price to pay for living in the center of Humanity on earth. The very air stinks. But even if I had to walk around in a gas mask and tinfoil suit, it would be worth it. Worth doing what I love.

Susan

Introduction

My name is Susan. If you're reading this, you're one of very few. My story will be detailed herein, for your literary enjoyment.

Postings will be erratic and often vague. Occasionally uncompleted and... pretty weird, to boot. I know all this beforehand because it's my life.

This is my blog. My cyber paper trail. A little bit of my life goes up on the web for all to see. Because it should.

I doubt you really know what I mean, and I don't really feel the need to tell you. So read on, adventurous stranger. Read on.

Susan