Lassez-faire

I think I'm losing it. I can't keep this up much longer. Too much is happening all around me. Someone is always hurting. Someone always needs help. I can't be active 24 hours a day. I can't do this.

I feel like a failure every second that someone is hurting that I could be helping. Why do I waste the time to write this blog, to go out for coffee, even to sleep in? Why do I have to be so... human? One might say, "I can sleep when I'm dead." but this just isn't possible.

Mayhaps I need a vacation? I've been wanting to see the Callanish Stones, in Scotland... The change of air might do me good. Just... let things be as they will here for just one week. Can I do that? Or will I lose whatever humanity I have worked so hard to lay claim to?

Susan

Life

Today has been a good day. I am sitting in a coffee shop, cozy, caffeinated, and content. Only downside: I've hurt my arm. My left arm, if you really cared to know.

When was the last time you felt really, truly happy? When you looked around and simply thought, "This is where I want to be for the rest of my life. This is what I want to feel for the rest of my life."? When you knew without a doubt who you were, what your place was in the world, and that if your whole life were exactly like this day, you could die with a smile on your face?

Most people don't have a clue what it really means to live.

Susan